No regrets for retiring Brown

A few factors have contributed to my decision but primarily it was due to injury. I tore my hamstring in November and I realised that I can no longer train at the level I want to and need to as an International player ?? my body was giving up around me! I have also been managing a neck injury for three years and it was at the point where I was affected in every game and was having to limit the volume of contact training I was able to do. When you get a bit older you also have to step back and look at what is going on in your life outside of rugby ?? now is the right time to progress my career and also spend a bit more time with my very understanding partner, family and friends!

I was desperate to try to get the squad there ?? some of my team mates will only be playing for this one World Cup cycle and I wanted them to get to experience a World Cup as it is a truly unique event in the sport ?? but I was always hanging up my boots at the end of FIRA.

Recently I went to the M&S at Heathrow Terminal 5 after landing one Sunday evening to grab some food for the Monday, and the cashier asked me where in the airport I worked because he saw me so often! It is a challenge just purely down to the lack of rest ?? you are flying so many Fridays and so training rest days tend to be travel days and then you aren??t back home until 10pm on the Sunday night after a full on training weekend. Somehow you have to get organised to do a full week of work and training. I??ve done it for four years now but so many players, especially in the past, did it for eight to ten years so I take my hat off to them! I am lucky though because my family live in Edinburgh and so I got to see them so regularly.

There are just so many because playing the sport you love for the country you love is just incredible. My first cap v USA at Murrayfield was a special experience and my whole family was there. ?˜Being involved in the World Cup 2006 was amazing ?? being on tour for three weeks was like being a professional athlete! We travelled to Sweden for the Euros in 2009 knowing we needed to top our pool to qualify for the 2010 World Cup. We had a great squad and won our group after a thrilling 38-18 victory over the Netherlands. It was a pretty fun night out after that result! My final game was a 63-8 win over Sweden this April. We knew qualification for WC 2014 was dependant on other results as well as our own but we knew a big points difference would help our cause so we took the field with one goal in mind ?? team points. It didn??t matter to us who crossed the whitewash as long as they were wearing a navy blue jumper. Days like that are so special and they are why I love team sports so much ?? no egos, just everyone battling for a shared goal. The current Scotland squad is an incredible group of people ?? a pleasure to Captain and I wish them all the best going forward. Without a shadow of a doubt though my favourite rugby memory is beating France on a freezing misty February night at Lasswade in Edinburgh. After the final whistle I climbed up into the back of the stand to celebrate with my beloved Dad who hadn??t seen many Scotland wins for a while and was over the moon with joy. It is such a special memory.

Recently we have had some results that have been massively challenging but you can??t hide away from them and you need to use them to measure your shortcomings as a player and as a squad and then use the disappointment to fuel you. The hardest challenge I??ve had to face recently is continuing to play after losing my Dad after a short but incredibly brave battle with cancer in June 2011. He was my biggest supporter and would watch every game of mine he could. He travelled in Europe, stayed up until 2am in the morning to watch live streams of matches from Canada and even moved to England for the duration of the 2010 WC so he could watch my games. I adored him and I felt lost without him and genuinely didn??t know if I wanted to carry on ?? rugby felt different without his words of wisdom, support and love. I am so glad I continued, I??m just sad he didn??t get to see out the journey with me.

I??ve been lucky to play alongside so many incredible players. Paula Chalmers was one of the best ever ?? so skilful and knowledgeable albeit incredible intimidating to a Scotland squad newcomer! Katie McWhirter (nee Davies) was a centre who could cut open defences and give you passes to put you in for scores ?? a lot of my tries in my early club career were down to her! She retired from International rugby to concentrate on her medical career. No one knows more about the game of rugby than Rachael Whyte (nee Nicolson), a Scotland player whose career was cut short by her decision to have a family. I learned so much about the sport playing alongside her at Hillhead.?˜ Moving to Richmond allowed me to play alongside some of the greats in the England team ?? as a back row, Alice Richardson is a dream to play alongside ?? she talks, organises and executes and puts you into some incredible spaces. Emma Croker is the most accurate hooker I have ever played with ?? if you jump she will hit you giving you options all over the place when it comes to lineout. She also has incredible speed and footwork! One of my favourite players to have in the pack is Rowena Burnfield ?? she is one of those players who grafts relentlessly for 80 minutes and is just an animal in the contact. This season at Richmond has been extra special as the incredible Lynne Cantwell has captained us ?? she is a true leader in every sense of the word, passionate, energetic, and talented and an outstanding worker on the pitch. I??d follow her into battle any day of the week. Scotland??s Lindsay Wheeler is a sight to behold galloping down the pitch in full flight and always makes the gainline when she is carrying ball and Steph Johnston, the current Scotland fullback, is an exceptional tackler ?? completely courageous in defence and a great organiser of our backline.

There is so much talent at the moment ?? some incredible players across so many nations. Maggie Alphonsi is up there ?? she is one hard hitter in the tackle! Although I got to play alongside Rimma Petlevannaya in a Scotland jersey, we played for different clubs and sometimes when she hit you, you didn??t get up for a while! At the 2006 World Cup Amira Rule (nee Marsh) showed us what strong and powerful meant on the pitch by taking out anything that got in her way. Canadian Heather Moyse was an incredible athlete and ambassador of the game during her career. One of the toughest teams to play will always be Ireland ?? that team would die for each other and their commitment to each other on and off the pitch, under the leadership of the exceptional Fiona Coghlan, is outstanding. All that said, I always enjoyed playing against the best ?? you??ve got to do that to know where you rank as a player.

It's very disappointing ?? we went out to two teams we didn??t have the opportunity to play due to the structure of the tournament as the IRB felt they could only include six teams rather than eigh meaning we had to play cross pool and not within pool like we did in 2009 FIRA. It??s difficult ?? seedings are so inaccurate in Women??s Rugby behind the top teams because so many nations play so infrequently. We needed a point out of the Italy game and we couldn??t get it and that, in the end, cost us dearly.

It has been a tough few years but our performances have been getting so much better and had two very close games ?? against Wales and Italy in this year??s 6N. We have had consistency of coaching for the past three years and it has made a huge difference. I think keeping this squad of players together, with a few addition, for the next few years will be critical to pushing us back up into being competitive with other nations. Increased competition for jerseys is what pushes performance and we, after three years of hard work, have that across a few positions, we just need another season to see this come to fruition. The players need to continue to work hard on their skills and fitness. We??ve seen the level that is required now and so the action that needs to happen in the off-season will dictate how successful the team is next year.

That is a good question. The women management specific roles were removed and we have been under the performance umbrella for the past season. I think we need some more time to fully come to an agreement as to where the women sit in the structure as currently we are managed as the age grade boys are ?? including conditioning targets ?? which can be challenging for women with full time jobs to juggle . Boys in school or university tend to have a little more time on their hands. ?˜

Very, and disappointed that there had been very little consultation that we had known about. I understand the union??s desire to create a tournament in which our squad can be competitive and would be interested in discussing various scenarios but reducing our programme to two matches a year would destroy our 15s game and so I couldn??t accept that proposal as a player.

Playing at Richmond has been an incredible. I left my beloved team in Scotland (Hillhead) I didn't think I would ever find a club team I cared about and wanted to play for in the same way. I couldn't have been more wrong. I found a very happy home at Richmond and got the opportunity to play alongside some of the greatest players in the game. I've learned so much from all of my team mates. I had wonderful coaching as well and my game developed so much in my time there. In fact, it completely changed me as a player. The competition for a starting jersey in that team is insane. Playing back row at Richmond took selection to a new level for me - battling every single week just to get a starting jersey for the Sunday improved me immeasurably. A huge thank you to Becky Essex, Laura Jenkins, Gemma Sharples, Rowena Burnfield, Lindsay Wheeler, Tess Forsberg and Alex Matthews for all the competition! We won three championships on the bounce and finished 2nd this year so it has been a successful few years club rugby wise.

In August I am taking a team of exile-based players to the Sarah Beaney 7s which is an Edinburgh tournament played in the memory of Sarah Beaney, a former Scotland A player who died tragically in 2008. There are no firm plans after that at present beyond a little bit of time off and a desire to stay involved in Scottish Women??s Rugby in some capacity.

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